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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/28226763">As the moon watches</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/orbit1117/pseuds/orbit1117'>orbit1117</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>That place between the sky and the sea [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>ATEEZ (Band)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe - Pirate, Gen, Hui and Maddox make minor apparitions, This is basically just Hongjoong's sad backstory I wrote to accompany my twitter doodles</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-12-21</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-12-21</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-10 15:48:59</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>10,021</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/28226763</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/orbit1117/pseuds/orbit1117</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Hongjoong, is a good, kind child. This is one of the first truths he’s ever learnt, when his big sister would tenderly hold him in her arms to chase his tears away.</p><p>As time passes, he comes to find that he doesn't like it.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Cho Seungyeon | Seungyeon &amp; Kim Hongjoong, Kim Yonghwan | Eden &amp; Kim Hongjoong, Moon Byulyi | Moonbyul &amp; Kim Hongjoong</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>That place between the sky and the sea [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/2251549</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>3</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>13</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>As the moon watches</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Hongjoong is a good, kind child. This is one of the first truths he’s ever learnt, when his big sister would tenderly hold him in her arms to chase his tears away.<br/>
“It’s fine not to be strong or good at everything,” she had told him, voice knowing and sweet and everything Hongjoong imagines a mother’s would be, “for you have a kind heart which always wants the best for everyone. You’re a good boy, Hongjoong.”<br/>
Hongjoong nods, because he doesn’t want to cause anymore problems to his sister who already had to push back the mean boys from the city, even though he doesn’t quite understand how being a good child will help him. </p><p>He decides he needs to be kind, however, and that he will always be, because he at the very least wishes to be the person his sister believes him to be.</p><p>—</p><p>Hongjoong works hard; he helps his sister the way he can, even though she says he shouldn’t be. He cleans the house, he always carries the water, and he tries hunting rabbits in the forest nearby. He’s bad at all of these things, obviously. He’s too clumsy and distracted and ends up cleaning his own mess rather than anything else, and rabbits are way too fast for his little legs. When he’s the one carrying the bucket, there’s always water that gets lost on their way home and his sister ends up taking it back with a sigh.<br/>
One day, Hongjoong gets invited by a kid of the neighborhood to play instead of working. He feels guilty, but he doesn’t get to play around with friends a lot so he accepts, and the afternoon goes in a flash.</p><p>He comes home weeping.</p><p>“Oh, dear” his sister begins, kneeling next to his teary face that he tries to hide in muffled apologies. “Why are you sorry? I’m happy you had fun.”</p><p>Her hands are covered in dark stains of oil and other things she must have gotten while working at the port nearby, but she wipes them properly before they both get in the warm bath together - the big bucket of water now filled to the brim and placed on the fireplace.<br/>
When she’s done cleaning him, she turns around and he washes her hair.</p><p>“It’s getting long”, he remarks shyly, “It’s pretty.” It’s reaching under her shoulders now, longer than he ever remembers seeing her with.</p><p>“Yeah?” his sister replies, and he can hear the smile in her voice. “I decided I’d let it grow, like the pretty girls from the city.”<br/>
She laughs a bit at this, her voice a bit deeper than it was the year before. Hongjoong pouts as he passes the comb she found through her hair.</p><p>“You’re already much prettier than them.”</p><p>“You are, too.” She replies cheekily as she turns around and splashes some water on him.</p><p>“I’m not!” He protests weakly, still smiling a bit as he splashes some water back. They’re careful not to throw it overboard, though, as water is precious to them. Pretty is what the mean boys from the city called him, and he doesn’t like it.<br/>
“There’s nothing wrong with you being pretty”, his sister says as if she read his mind. Her voice is definite, so he doesn’t try to argue further about it.</p><p>When they’re all clean and dry, warm under the heavy blankets his sister bought recently, she hands him a small book, with a leather cover on which is written something he doesn’t know yet how to read.<br/>
He traces the cover of the book with his short fingers, mouth slightly open in awe.<br/>
“What is it about?” He asks, opening the book to letters he’s not sure he can’t put together.<br/>
His sister grins, her pretty eyes suddenly lighting up.<br/>
“Pirates.”</p><p>—</p><p>Hongjoong is good at reading. It’s unexpected, because there’s no one to teach him, but he finds ways to learn anyway. He sneaks around the port and learns to differentiate the symbols and arrange them together thanks to the stories his sister tells him. It’s hard to remember everything, but he has a lot of spare time and he doesn’t think his sister wants him to carry the water home anymore.<br/>
So Hongjoong reads. He only has one book, which is far more than enough for him, and he reads it over and over again until he’s good enough to understand everything. At first the words are confused, but they slowly form into meaning as he goes over the  book again and weave the threads of the story together.</p><p>The book is about a pirate named Zico; or at least this is the name he’s known as. Zico is a strong, powerful man who sails around the seven seas on his beloved boat, the great Nillili Mambo. His crew is as fierce and fearless as he is, and the military themselves flee when they see the looming threat of his flag hanging on the horizon.<br/>
But Zico isn’t just a man of blood; he’s got many lovers that he meets both on the sea and the ground, during parts of the story that makes Hongjoong want to cover his eyes. He doesn’t know a lot about girls, aside from his sister, and it scares him a little.<br/>
Nobody knows where Zico comes from, what kind of life he lived before leaving to sea.<br/>
Hongjoong wonders if he was like him.</p><p>“You know,” his sister begins after teasing him about how much he seems to love the book, “Zico was born around here, near the town.”<br/>
He stands up from his seat, fists clenched in excitement much to his sister’s amusement. </p><p>“Is that true?!” He asks, big eyes shining more than they usually would. She nods, a boyish grin on her face as she cuts through the skin of the rabbit to boil it.</p><p>“Or so I’ve heard in the port. Of course, it might just be a rumor people made up to give themselves something to be proud of, but…” She glances at Hongjoong, noticing how his shoulders fall in disappointment. “It makes you want to believe in it, doesn’t it?”<br/>
Hongjoong gives her a small nod, sitting back pensively.</p><p>“I wonder if I can be like him one day.” He wonders out loud, clutching the book against his chest. It makes his sister laugh, and she turns around to kiss his forehead. Warm, gentle.</p><p>“Hongjoong, you are way too kind to be a pirate.”</p><p>And Hongjoong thinks, perhaps it would have been best if he weren’t so kind.</p><p>—</p><p>It’s a rainy day when his sister comes home, empty-handed and a sour look on her face.<br/>
“I’ll be going hunting with you tomorrow.” She announces, definite and resigned.<br/>
Hongjoong perks up from the corner of the house he made his reading spot of. He’s got a few more books now, which he found discarded in mud by people richer than him on the port or that he traded with the kids who live around here.</p><p>“Aren’t you going to work at the port?” He asks innocently. Her jaw clenches, unsaid words filling through the room.</p><p>“They said they don’t need me anymore. A boy my age offered his help today.”</p><p>“But that’s unfair!” Hongjoong pleads for her sake, knowing there’s no reasoning about it. “You were here for much longer, I’m sure you can do a much better job than he would.”<br/>
She shrugs staring resolutely at her own used hands.</p><p>“I don’t know, Hongjoong. Maybe they’re right about this.”<br/>
She looks up then, a sorry smile curving her lips in a way that breaks Honjoong’s heart.</p><p>“Perhaps it would have been best if I had been a man.”</p><p>— </p><p>His sister is frustrated. Hongjoong can see it in the worried crease of her eyebrows, seconds before she notices him staring and changes her expression into something softer, something that’s reminding of the times when they both had enough to eat.<br/>
Or maybe she’s scared; Hongjoong thinks he doesn’t want to know.</p><p>—</p><p>There is less to eat. It’s fine, though, because Hongjoong doesn’t do a lot these days.<br/>
His sister comes home late, up to who knows what, and stumbles on the bed to pass out until the sun rises again.<br/>
Hongjoong keeps reading. </p><p>—</p><p>The beautiful, long strands of his sister’s hair lay pathetically in the chiffon he’s holding. He stares at them with wet eyes, trying to keep himself from crying again.<br/>
Another portion of hair falls off, and he whines audibly.<br/>
“Must you cut more?”</p><p>His sister doesn’t grace him an answer, her hard stare resolutely fixed on the knife she’s holding against what remains of her pretty golden hair.<br/>
When she’s done, almost none of it is left, a masculine, short cut left in its stead.<br/>
Hongjoong weeps for her, so she doesn’t have to.</p><p>“Come, big boy, don’t cry so much.” She kneels next to him, patting his head reassuringly.</p><p>“But you- you liked your hair!” He complains, holding onto her shirt. </p><p>“I can regrow my hair,” her smile turns into something sorry, “But I can never get my little brother back if he dies of starvation.”</p><p>He sniffs, shaking his head in denial.</p><p>“I don’t want you to leave for the military.”</p><p>“I don’t want to leave either. But I’ll be back.” She takes him in her arms, lifting him up easily so they can lay on the bed together.<br/>
“With the money I get, I’ll buy you new books to read, and then I can grow my hair again.”</p><p>“I could make money too.” He retorts, suddenly reminded of how useless he is.<br/>
He feels like a burden.</p><p>“You’re just a boy.” She whispers, wiping the tears that are left on his cheeks. “Please promise you’ll behave while I’m away.”</p><p>Hongjoong knows he must be good and kind to his sister. Even so, the promise sounds hollow to his own ears.</p><p>—</p><p>The night before his sister leaves, she points at the moon in the sky and tells him a secret.<br/>
“Whenever the moon is glowing, it means I’m thinking about you.” She says quietly, holding one of his trembling hands. Hongjoong frowns.</p><p>“You’re lying,” He says, because he reads books now, and he knows from them that the moon has always been glowing in the sky, long before either of them were born. She sighs, lifting him once again in her strong arms to raise him towards the sky in her embrace. He’s much taller now, she’s been working out a lot, and he feels safe.</p><p>“I’m not lying. I’ll be thinking of you whenever the moon shines bright. It must be why our parents named us this way.”</p><p>“Was it?”<br/>
She shakes her head.</p><p>“I don’t know. I never got to ask them. It’s something we must decide for ourselves.” Then she smiles, parting her eyes from the sky to look back at him. “So I decided. I’m your moon, and you’re my sun, the center of my universe.”</p><p>She punctuates the statement by pinching his cheek before letting him back on the ground.<br/>
“I’m not important enough to be the center of the universe.” He mumbles, holding on to her side.</p><p>“You are to me. You’ve always been. You’ll always be, even when I’m far away.”<br/>
She combs a hand through his hair, which is longer than hers now.</p><p>“You’re a kind child, Hongjoong. I wish you were kind to yourself as well.”</p><p>Hongjoong just wishes he was strong enough not to let her go.</p><p> </p><p>—</p><p> </p><p>His sister doesn’t let him completely alone when she leaves. Instead, Hongjoong now lives with an old, lonely lady of the village she begged for help in exchange of letting her use their place.</p><p>Hongjoong doesn’t like her very much; she’s old, and a bit mean, and complains a lot about him and his sister. Something about how she was too bold and proud and will never get married if she keeps at it- to which Hongjoong wonders why his sister would even want that to begin with, if it means she’ll end up like that old lady. The woman is good at cooking, though, and her children sometimes bring them food and money,  so Hongjoong isn’t starving anymore.</p><p>He still doesn’t like her, and he misses reading. She won’t bring books to him, and says he shouldn’t waste time reading when he’s at the age where he could be working. So he ends up walking around the port, asking around if anyone would have some use for a clumsy eleven-years old. He gets laughed at a lot, but still makes some money by shining the shoes of the marines who visit the town.</p><p>It’s not enough to buy books, though, and Hongjoong really misses reading.<br/>
This is why when he sees the opportunity in front of his eyes, he doesn’t think twice about it. Stealing is bad, he knows. Even when they were struggling at their lowest time, neither or his sister ever turned to it out of dignity. But he missed reading, oh, so much, and the man sitting next to the one whose shoes he was waxing was surely rich enough to buy himself a new shiny book at the town library.</p><p>Being a good kid never brought him much good anyway.</p><p>He walks outside the bar, feeling nervous from the excitement and fear and being caught. Still, once he’s safe and hidden in a backstreet, the joy of having something to read sweeps all of that away. He takes it out from under his shirt, trembling hands opening the heavy book open, only to realize he doesn’t recognize the symbols in front of him. </p><p>“You might have a hard time reading this, kid.”</p><p>He jumps and closes the book in a rush, preparing to run when a firm hand grabs his arm to stop him. Hongjoong turns to find the man from the bar, towering above him with an expression he can’t decipher.</p><p>“When did shoeshine boys start reading arabic, hmm?” He asks, his voice higher than Hongjoong would have expected. He’s big, at least bigger than his sister was, and his black hair falls in front of his eyes in a neglected fashion. He doesn’t seem poor, however, as far as Hongjoong can tell from the golden chains peeking from under his heavy vest and the heavy earing he discerns between the long strands of hair.</p><p>“I-I believed it was english, sir.” He justifies himself, shame crippling up his spine now that he’s been caught.</p><p>“And you can read english?” The man asks, almost amused. Hongjoong relaxes a bit at the tone of his voice, but feels a bit humiliated by the doubt that he hears within it. </p><p>“Nobody, sir. I learnt on my own.”<br/>
For once since forever, he feels a weird sense of pride bubbling from his chest as he says it. He might not be good at many things, and might not have a lot of things that belong to his name; but he has reading, and he is the sole person he has to thank for it.<br/>
Something petty bubbles in his guts.<br/>
“And I think- I’m sure I could learn to read that as well if I tried.” He asserts while showing the foreign book, staring up in defiance at the man.</p><p>“Oh? You think you could?”  The man looks definitely entertained now, and he lets go of Hongjoong arm to get a better look at him. “How old are you, kid?” </p><p>There’s genuine curiosity in his voice, so Hongjoong answer honestly.<br/>
“I’m eleven.” He announces, puffing his chest.</p><p>“That’s very young.” The man raises an eyebrow, looking him up and down. “And you think you could learn a foreign language by yourself?”<br/>
Hongjoong pouts, a bit annoyed by the older man’s lack of faith in his abilities.</p><p>“What if I could?” He asks, like a challenge.</p><p>“What if you could, indeed.” The man repeats after him, low and pensive like he didn’t really mean Hongjoong to hear it.<br/>
After a few seconds of silent staring, he stumbles in his coat as if looking for something. Finally, he takes out another small booklet, and hands him to Hongjoong.<br/>
The boy opens his free hand helplessly, looking up in confusion at the sudden offering.</p><p>“These are the notes I took while learning arabic,” The man starts, pushing the booklet in Hongjoong’s hand. “Use them. If you’re able to read this book by the end of week, I’ll let you keep both of these.”</p><p>Hongjoong blinks, both the booklet and the book now clutched to his chest. </p><p>“Why would you do this?” He asks, because nobody ever gives him presents, much less people he’s never met.</p><p>The man smiles, a small smile that is full of promises and gentleness that Hongjoong didn’t expect. </p><p>“Just a hunch.”</p><p>—</p><p>Arabic, as he learns, is quite difficult. It’s an entirely different language from his own, and the writing system mixes consonants and vowels into single characters that form sounds he’s never heard before. The man’s notes are neat and diligent, but it doesn’t lessen the difficulty of the task he’s been given. </p><p>On the third day, he cries in silence in front of the book as not to wake the old lady up, helplessness and sheer exhaustion taking over him. The man’s challenge seems insurmountable, above anything he’s ever worked towards for. The amount of information he tries to digest in a few days makes his head hurt, and he spends his short breaks staring up emptily at the sky, hoping the moon’s shine means he’ll make it.</p><p>He doesn’t give up, though. Whenever he thinks he can’t make it, he remembers the amusement in the man’s voice, the slight humiliation he felt at the implication that a boy like him could never be reading such a book. And then he remembers the mean boys from the city, and his sister feeling sorry that she wasn’t born a man.<br/>
It makes his blood boil, and he sits up to continue noting and reading and hurting his fingers as he copies letters on greasy papers.</p><p>At the end of the week, he walks up to the port with weak steps.<br/>
The man seems surprised to see him.<br/>
His hair is a bit more done this day, and Hongjoong can see his long droopy eyes turning wide as he starts reading the first words of the books to him. </p><p>—</p><p>What happens next passes in a blur, as Hongjoong has only reached the sixth page of the book before he passes out at the man’s feets, knees no longer able to support his little frame. </p><p>He wakes up in the clean sheets of a warm bed, that he later realizes belong to the inn of the port where the man has brought him after he fell.</p><p>Here, he learns the man’s name is Eden - or at the very least, it’s the name everyone knows him as. It doesn’t sound like a real name, Hongjoong thinks idly while dreaming of stories from beyond the horizon.<br/>
Before he disappeared to the sea, he left three things for Hongjoong; the book and the booklet he promised, as well as another one he hadn’t seen before. The book is in english, and covers the history of the region as well as its general geography.<br/>
In that book, Hongjoong finds a note whose handwriting he’d now recognize in miles.</p><p>“I’ll be back in a few weeks. You did well.”</p><p>He holds the book close against his heart, like a treasure only he can see.</p><p>—</p><p>A year passes, and his sister still hasn’t come back. Eden does come back, though. The man visits every month, bringing books and promises Hongjoong doesn’t get tired of.<br/>
He isn’t sure what Eden wants out of him, but he is happy to greedily consume all the knowledge he brings him, which in turn seems to provide great entertainment for the man. Within a few months, he gets better at arabic, and learns more about geography and history that he’s ever done in his whole life.<br/>
Eventually, Eden starts bringing different types of books. Books about navigation, about the way of tides and how to read the stars.<br/>
Hongjoong doesn’t ask, but he gives a curious look to Eden when he drops yet another volume of Book on Navigation: what every man must know at sea on the desk of the inn he’s renting for him during his stay.</p><p>“If you want to travel, you’re going to need to get on a boat one day.” He explains simply, looking away as if he had been caught doing something bad. Hongjoong notices that the man does that a lot with him, but he doesn’t understand why.</p><p>“Will I?” He asks, perking from his seat, “Travel?”</p><p>Eden stares at him, this pensive look back on his face. It seems like he’s hesitating to say something for a few seconds, but ends up sighing as if he decided against it.</p><p>“I don’t know, Hongjoong.” He begins, picking up a feather to continue his study. “But a town like this is too small for a kid like you.”</p><p>“Everyone says that I am quite little for my age.” He retorts, though not disagreeing. </p><p>Eden laughs gently, and turns his attention back to the page in front of him. </p><p>Hongjoong thinks about the sea, and all the lands that lay beyond. </p><p>—</p><p>The truth is, Hongjoong has no idea who or what Eden is; only that he comes and goes through the sea, and always seems too busy to stay for more than a few days. He guesses he must be a pretty important person, though, with the way the people of the town seem to make the way for him when he walks down the streets. Hongjoong even notices a slight change in the way he himself is treated, but prefers to think it’s because he’s gotten a bit taller and smarter since he became Eden’s student.<br/>
On a cloudy afternoon as he’s working on an assignment Eden gave him, a man approaches him carefully where he’s seated in a corner of the bar.</p><p>“You’re working hard as always, Hongjoong.” The sailor states rather loudly to get his attention. Hongjoong perks up.</p><p>“Yes, sir.” He replies proudly. “Eden tasked me to translate this text for when he comes back.” He explains, a bit excited that he gets to show off his progress.</p><p>“Eden.” The man repeats, a concerned look in his eyes. “He comes here a lot nowadays.”<br/>
Then the man leans down, speaking very low as to only have Hongjoong hear him.</p><p>“Don’t you get scared, kid?”<br/>
Hongjoong tilts his head.</p><p>“Why would I be?”</p><p>The sailor frowns, shooting back a glance at his friend who simply shrugs back at him.<br/>
To be fair, Hongjoong was a tiny bit scared at first. But Eden had been kind to him, albeit a bit strict with his teaching at times. In the end, he didn’t really mind that he didn’t know anything about the man; in fact, he almost found it a bit comforting in some ways, as he didn’t have to be reminded of his own insignificant status compared to his.<br/>
Eden was his teacher, and he was his student, and he was content with it being all that it was.<br/>
“Don’t tell him I told you that, but” The man starts, quiet and apprehensive, “They said he used to be involved with Zico - the man himself.”<br/>
Hongjoong nearly jumps in his seat.<br/>
“With Zico!” he exclaims excitedly as he stands up, causing the man to push him back on his seat with a “shhh” gesture.<br/>
“You shouldn’t tell him I told you that. Ahem. Actually, don’t say anything at all.” The sailor orders him, still looking around as if checking that nobody heard them.<br/>
“I think he’d have my head if he knew I told you.”</p><p>Hongjoong nods obediently, though he doesn’t understand why Eden would hide such a wonderful thing from him.</p><p>—</p><p>The next time Eden visits, Hongjoong spends the entire time too distracted by the rumors of the port to fully focus on his work. Eden doesn’t say much, even though Hongjoong spends the entire time stealing curious glances at him, and he almost wishes the man would spare him a disapproving stare. He desperately wants to ask, is it true, did you meet Zico, was he really from this town, where is he now, where are you going next, are you going to meet him now  -</p><p>But he remains a good boy and doesn’t say a thing even up until the last evening, where he’s sent back to his home earlier than he usually would be.</p><p>“I have important business to take care of,” Eden says with his serious voice, “and you seem like you aren’t in condition to work anyway.”</p><p>Hongjoong wants to argue back, but a stern look of the man is enough to convince him to head back towards the old house he and his sister were born in.</p><p>Here awaits the old lady, who surprises him with a voice full of anger that has never been this intense.</p><p>“A friend who works on the port told me,” she begins, voice low, as Hongjoong puts his book down on the corner of his bed.<br/>
“So this is where you had been all this time, instead of helping me with the house?” She asks, voice threatening. “Is this what your sister begged me for? Do you think you’d make her proud?”</p><p>“Madam’, I’ve been studying and learning!” He protests, taken aback by the sudden aggressivity. </p><p>“With pirates!” She nearly yells, disdain and horror written all over her face. “What do you think you’re doing? Do you wish to ruin your- my family’s name?!”</p><p>Hongjoong’s jaw drops.<br/>
“Pirates?”</p><p>“Pirates!” she repeats, the word like venom when spitted from her mouth. “Don’t act as if you weren’t aware - can’t you see the whole town knows of this man!”</p><p>He doesn’t reply, mind racing with memories and collection of odd events, everything suddenly putting itself together in a wonderful, grandiose revelation.<br/>
“Pirates. They are pirates!” He repeats again, unable to stop the smile that paints his face as he says it.  “Eden is a pirate!” </p><p>Without more consideration for the old lady standing outraged in front of him, he quickly grabs his favourite book - The Legend of Zico, the first one his sister brought to him back when he didn’t know how to read yet, and rushes outside the house in the batting rain.</p><p> “Eden is a pirate!” He exclaims again to no one in particular, as he runs towards the port. “Eden is a pirate, and he knows Zico - of course!”</p><p>His bare feet splash in the cold water and he isn’t nearly covered enough, but he can’t contain the excitement he feels as he puts the pieces back together.<br/>
Hongjoong thinks about the sea, about great adventures and promises of freedom and lands nobody’s ever seen, and it’s like he’s going to fly above the crappy town and the whole ocean, up where the sun and the stars are, meeting the moon which gazes upon him gently even now.</p><p>“Eden!” He calls through the wind and the rain as he arrives rushing on the port. “Let me come with you!”</p><p>He’s intercepted by big hands holding him back, and that’s only then he realizes Eden is surrounded by other men - quite more scary looking than he is. His crew, Hongjoong realizes in amazement, a pirate ship’s crew!<br/>
Eden is looking back at him with wide eyes, surprised just like that day he had read him those first pages on that very same port.</p><p>“Hongjoong, what are you doing here?” he asks, more dumbfounded than anything else, but also not without some fear in his voice.</p><p>“You’re a pirate!” Hongjoong shouts at him, smiling still as the big hands push him back. “Let me come with you!” He asks then, slipping through the men thanks to his little body.</p><p>“Hongjoong.” Eden takes a step back when he goes toward him, a hand raised towards the men who were rushing to grab him again. “I can’t do that, Hongjoong. How did you find out ?”</p><p>“Who cares about that!” he rebuts angrily, disappointed by Eden’s immediate refusal. “I want to come! Weren’t you the one who said this town was too small for me?”</p><p>“I did say that.” Eden shuts his eyes, tiredness and surprise making him lose his usual composure “But the time is not now. You are too young, far too young. Besides,” He looks at him with a certain sadness in his eyes. “You’re not fit to be a pirate, Hongjoong. This is not the future I wanted for you.”</p><p>“But it’s the future I want for myself, Eden.” He shows him the book in his hand, the letters traced in the cover still distinguishable despite being drenched in the rain.<br/>
“I worked hard so please, please Eden - it’s the only thing I’ll ever ask of you!” </p><p>Eden eyes fall on the name traced in gold letters, and his expression falters.</p><p> </p><p>—</p><p>Hongjoong is twelve when he steps on a pirate ship for the first time.</p><p>As he sails away from the town of his childhood, the moon shines upon the sea, lighting up the way for a future he desires.</p><p>—</p><p>Hongjoong is also twelve when he learns Zico died a few months ago. He feels disappointed, but finds consolation in knowing he’s now a part of a legendary captain’s crew.</p><p>—</p><p>Hongjoong meets Luizy on the very next day he joins the crew. He’s only two years older than him, but much taller, and his grin turns his big eyes into pretty crescents.<br/>
When Hongjoong remarks Luizy isn’t even a real name, the boy giggles with that foxy smile of his.<br/>
“How would you know that? Have you visited enough places in the world to know what’s and what’s not a real name?”  He questions Hongjoong, who can’t help but admit how good of a point he makes.<br/>
“No, I suppose I haven’t. Have you?” He asks, genuinely curious, because Luizy already seems to know so much more than he does. This gets the other boy to laugh again, which is surprisingly not as humiliating and Hongjoong imagines it should be.</p><p>“I haven’t. But let me tell you a secret.” He gestures at Hongjoong to get closer, and the smaller boy does so without hesitation. </p><p>“It’s not a real name.” Luizy whispers in his ear before running away, leaving Hongjoong with much to ponder about.</p><p>—</p><p>Luizy is, not to Hongjoong’s surprise, much better at everything than he is.<br/>
Hongjoong is clumsy with a sword and shudders at the sound of a gun going off; Luizy dances around the practice like he was born to fence, and teases Hongjoong by playing around with the gunpowder.<br/>
Hongjoong is smart, but he struggles with applying his knowledge to the reality of the sea whereas Luizy is already helping Eden navigate the ship.<br/>
Luizy is also very fun, and entertains the crew on the nights where they’re all having dinner together, while all Hongjoong can do is shyly watch from the side.<br/>
Hongjoong wishes he was a bit more like Luizy.</p><p>He tells him this, one night where they’re both lying awake in their hammocks, deep down the hold of the ship. It’s been a whole year since Hongjoong has joined the crew now, and he feels comfortable with the older boy who treats him like family.<br/>
“Why would you want to be like me?” Luizy asks, always so kind despite his teasing. “I think you’re fine the way you are.”<br/>
“But I can’t do anything right.” Hongjoong whines in frustration. “And there’s nothing I’m good at.”<br/>
“That isn’t true.” Luizy turns around in his hammock to look down at him. “There is certainly something you’re good at, Hongjoong.”</p><p>Hongjoong thinks for a few seconds. </p><p>“I suppose I’m good at reading.” Is all he can come up with.</p><p>“Then read.” Luizy simply says, turning back around to sleep.</p><p>—</p><p>Eden hasn’t been able to give him much attention these days. The ship is always busy, and Hongjoong has much to learn from everyone around him, so he doesn’t really mind it. Still, it makes him happy when he stands in front of the man’s room, asking if he has any book he could lend him.<br/>
Eden seems happy too, judging from the smile he wears when he lets Hongjoong in his study.<br/>
“What sort of book would you like, Hongjoong?” He asks, walking towards his library.</p><p>“Anything you wish me to read.” He answers, not used to even being given the choice to what he reads.</p><p>“Well, you certainly have read a lot about geography and history already,” Eden says pensively as his hand lingers on the covers of the books messily aligned on the shelves. “How about some fiction for a change?” He asks, taking one out and handing it out to Hongjoong.<br/>
The boy turns it around to read the title.</p><p>“Legends of Beyond the Horizon - Where the Journey Ends… is it?” He asks, a bit confused by the vagueness of the title.</p><p>“It’s the story of a man who went all across the ocean,” Eden explains, sitting back with a kind expression. “Although there’s no means of knowing whether he tells the truth or not.” </p><p>Hongjoong doesn’t understand, so he asks.<br/>
“But why would we read about something if we don’t even know if it’s true?”<br/>
The man smiles like he knows something Hongjoong doesn’t.</p><p>“Because it entertains us, Hongjoong. It’s art.”</p><p>—</p><p>Hongjoong finishes the book that very same day, reading long after everyone else has fallen asleep.</p><p>—</p><p>“What are you doing?” Luizy asks, curiously peeking over his shoulder.</p><p>“Hey, don’t read it!” He yelps, attempting to cover the paper with his elbows. “I-I’m writing.”<br/>
“Writing what?” Luizy’s big fox eyes stare down, trying to catch the words Hongjoong can’t quite hide properly. He feels his cheeks heating up.</p><p>“It’s a story.” He mumbles, holding the paper to his chest.</p><p>“A story!” Luizy exclaims with excitement. “That’s so neat! Will you let me read?”</p><p>“Absolutely not. You’ll make fun of me!” </p><p>“I’d never! Hongjoong, please!”</p><p>He looks up to meet Luizy’s big pleading eyes, recognizing the cute act he puts up when he wants something out of someone. Well - Hongjoong for one can’t deny how effective it is.</p><p>“Okay, I’ll let you.” He gives in reluctantly, and adds when he sees Luizy’s brightening face “But don’t tell anyone else about it! It’s embarrassing.”</p><p>His friend flashes his trademark foxy smile, sitting down next to him.</p><p>“You have my word, brother.”</p><p>— </p><p>Luizy is the only person he’ll let read his story, he decides, because he isn’t that confident in himself yet - but if there’s anyone he can trust, it’s his family.</p><p>Down in the hold of the ship where he lays at night, he can’t see the moon rise above the ocean.<br/>
— </p><p>“I really like it.”<br/>
“Do you, really?”<br/>
Hongjoong frowns, doubtful and feeling insecure about what he’d just let his friend - brother - read.<br/>
“I do!” Luizy protests, acting like he’s offended by the implication behind Hongjoong’s tone.<br/>
“I mean- it’s a bit clumsy, and all… but it was very touching.” He explains, proceeding to detail which parts of the short story he enjoyed the most to Hongjoong, who could only nod and thank him awkwardly. </p><p>“Hey, don’t thank me. You really do have talent.“ Luizy denies. “Maybe you should just become a writer instead of a pirate. Or an explorer. They sell tons of books nowadays, you’d become rich!”</p><p>“But I want to be a pirate.” Hongjoong retorts firmly. “How many times do I have to tell you?”</p><p>Luizy shrugs, handing him back his precious hardwork. </p><p>“You should think about it.”  He tells him, and Hongjoong spends the rest of the day pouting.</p><p>—</p><p>The next time Hongjoong visits Eden, the man hands him a book whose cover read Above the Starry Sea, the Free Land of Libertalia. He squints, and looks up to Eden with enormous curious eyes.<br/>
“Is this a story, too?”</p><p>The man smiles, mysterious.<br/>
“It may or may not be. That is what I long to know.”<br/>
Hongjoong frowns, little gears in his brain working his memory.</p><p>“But I thought Libertalia was just a story, sir. You were the one who told me, back when I read General History of Piracy.” He remembers clearly as he was disappointed to learn that no, there’s no pirate-ruled land where he could escape together with his sister to happily live ever-after.<br/>
Eden sighs, sitting back on his chair.</p><p>“It is and it isn’t.” he begins, taking out one of his booklets from the drawer of his table. “You see, Libertalia was inspired from a real place.”</p><p>“The republic of Salé!” Hongjoong says, proud of having remembered that part of his teaching. Eden nods, visibly equally satisfied by the fact.</p><p>“Indeed. But Salée was nothing like what Libertalia is described as in this book.”<br/>
“And they ultimately got dismantled.” Hongjoong adds, a bit disheartened.</p><p>“They were, unfortunately so, a long time before I was born.” Eden says, with more sadness than frustration in his voice. “But you see, some say not all of the pirates of Salée were disposed of. In fact, many managed to escape, and they flew together.”</p><p>Hongjoong tilts his head, eyes shining a little.<br/>
“But where would they go?”</p><p>The smile is back on Eden’s face as he gestures Hongjoong to get closer so he can look at the numerous annotated maps and notes plastered on his table.</p><p>“This, Hongjoong, is exactly what Zico and I have been trying to figure out.”</p><p>—</p><p>“Do you think the people of the stars exist?” He asks, looking up from his book at Luizy who’s busy carving something on a piece of wood he picked up. The two of them had this fascination for creating in common - although the older boy was simply so much more capable with his hands than Hongjoong was.<br/>
He hadn’t really given context to the conversation, but something was telling him Luizy already read that book as well, as it seemed very important to Eden, and what was very important to the man he shared with both of them alike. </p><p>Luizy scoffs, not sparing him a glance to remain focused on his delicate carving. “Dunno’.”</p><p>“I think it would be nice if they existed.” Hongjoong says, a bit saddened by the lack of interest Luizy showed to the topic. “I’d love to meet one.” He adds wishfully. </p><p>“Well, I think human ladies are fine enough.” Luizy dismisses with a teasing smile. “Not that you’d know anything about that.” </p><p>Hongjoong feels fire rush up to his head, and he argues back weakly. “I-I have a sister, and she’s really pretty!”</p><p>This, finally, makes Luizy react, the taller boy nearly dropping his knife to look at him in surprise.<br/>
“You have a sister? I thought - I thought you were an orphan.”</p><p>“I am an orphan. My sister raised me,” he explains, still a bit embarrassed, “But she’s in the army right now. She joined the marine when I was eleven.”</p><p>“I see…” Luizy squints, “You haven’t seen her since then?”</p><p>“I haven’t… Whenever we go back to my town, Eden asks everywhere if she’s been coming back, but…” Hongjoong shakes his head pitifully. “Why?”</p><p>The older boy returns his attention to the carving, lips tied in a fine line.</p><p>“Two years at sea is a long time, Hongjoong.” He simply states without looking up.</p><p>Hongjoong doesn’t know what to answer, so he goes back to his reading. </p><p>—</p><p>When Hongjoong is fourteen, they visit the market of a big town and Eden sends him to buy maps from an old friend of him.<br/>
After wandering with mesmerized eyes through the crowded streets of the market, he finally finds the man, sitting on a chest and animatedly talking with a few men and women.</p><p>“Are you Captain Hui?” He asks, trying to mask the trembling of his voice. The man stops in his tracks and turns to him, frowning at the sight of an unknown boy dressed like a seaman.</p><p>“I-I come from Eden.” Hongjoong clarifies, feeling very small in the middle of this big town. The man’s expression turns into a friendly one at that, sitting up and introducing himself as the man Hongjoong was looking for - Hui.<br/>
Hui is quite kind and enjoys chitchats, and Hongjoong is a bit surprised by the absence of any sort of threatening aura the man gives off. His own crew was kind, of course, despite the appearances - but there is something different about the man when he goes looking for the maps Hongjoong asked for, light and warm and without the roughness he’s used to.<br/>
When he asks Hui if he is a pirate, he laughs. Gentle, kind, in a way that reminds Hongjoong of his sister.</p><p>“Do I look like a pirate?” He turns to ask the people he was chatting with earlier, a smile in his voice. Then he looks down at Hongjoong, who feels like the man is too benevolent to ridicule him.</p><p>“I’m not a pirate, boy. I’m an explorer.”  He explains as he opens one of the maps and hands it to Hongjoong.</p><p>“You’re an explorer.” Hongjoong repeats, marvel in his voice. “I thought they only existed in stories.”</p><p>The man laughs again, “Stories exist thanks to us.” he taps the border of the map Hongjoong is checking. “And these do, as well. Do you enjoy reading maps? ”</p><p>Hongjoong nods, cheeks tinted a little. “I enjoy reading all sorts of things, sir. ”</p><p>“Then why are you a pirate?” the man asks, and Hongjoong is already ready to argue but Hui goes on to explain which map is which, and Hongjoong has to pay close attention for the sake of not failing his mission.<br/>
When the business is done and paid, Hui remains staring at him, lost in thought for a second.</p><p>“What is it?” Hongjoong questions, feeling uneasy under the stare despite the man’s kindness.</p><p>Hui hesitates.</p><p>“Do you happen to have a brother in the marine, boy?”</p><p>Hongjoong frowns, “I don’t,” before realization hits him, and he quickly rectifies, “wait, no! I do. I have a brother. Have you met him?”</p><p>Hui isn’t smiling anymore, and he gives a worried glance to a friend of him sitting a few feet apart.</p><p>“I thought your face reminded me of something.” He says under his breath. Then he asks, “Kim Hongjoong?”</p><p>“That’s right!” Hongjoong beams, excited to finally meet someone who knows of his sister.</p><p>“That’s crazy. I actually met your brother a few months ago on a mission I was doing for the king.”</p><p>He nods hastily, eager to hear more. « Then what? What did she- what did he tell you? Is he well? »</p><p>Hui’s face turns somber, and Hongjoong’s heart constricts in apprehension at the pitiful look he gives him.</p><p>“I’m sorry, Hongjoong.”</p><p>—</p><p>Hongjoong doesn’t cry as much as he thought he would have.</p><p>He doesn’t talk much easier, ignoring Luizy’s attempts at comforting him and the wise words Eden gives out to help reason his pain. </p><p>Instead, he picks up a feather, and he writes.</p><p>In the night sky, the moon still shines, and he doesn’t spare it a glance. </p><p>—</p><p>The next story he writes is about a star who falls in love with a man.<br/>
It’s a sad story; the star loves him, and is loved back, but they knows he’ll eventually die and leave them on their own.<br/>
So, the star shreds their love off their chest, turns it into little pieces of warmth that they’ll throw in the ocean. They turn it into dust of starlight, which is so beloved of men, so they never have to feel the pain of separating with someone they love.<br/>
They’re in pain, having hurt the part of themselves that is closest to the human heart. But they’re not sad, they don’t have to feel the anguish of longing and loneliness, nor do they fear the passing of time anymore.</p><p>Hongjoong is envious.</p><p>—</p><p>When he lets Luizy read the story of the star, the older boy cries.</p><p>“I’m sorry.” Hongjoong confusedly apologises. “I didn’t mean to make you sad.”<br/>
The older boy shakes his head, “It’s fine. It’s a good story.”</p><p>A few seconds pass in silence, only the sniffling of Luizy filling in the emptiness of the hold.</p><p>“Don’t you think it’s unfair?” he raises his voice suddenly.</p><p>Hongjoong blinks, “What is?”<br/>
Luizy glares almost, which takes him aback a little.</p><p>“Isn’t it unfair that the star would do that? What about the man who loved them?” He says, a bit frustrated, and then softens his voice, “What if he’s lonely, too?”</p><p>Hongjoong looks at him. « I haven’t thought about it. » He admits, embarrassed. « Still - what would you have done if you were the star? »</p><p>“ I’d have loved him anyway.” Luizy says, and there’s such a definite tone in his voice that Hongjoong doesn’t think of arguing. </p><p>—</p><p>Hongjoong is fifteen now, and Luizy is still better than him at everything.<br/>
Curiously, Eden starts taking him on their solo missions on the ground, when they stop by ports or have to explore an island. He asks him once, why he’d take along the clumsy kid who can barely hold a sword properly instead of Luizy.</p><p>“You can’t underestimate yourself like this, Hongjoong.” Eden tells him, reassuring but not without some reproaches in his voice. “You’ve gotten much better those past few years.”</p><p>“Stil,” he insists, not fully convinced by the evading answer, “Luizy would be a much better partner than I am. Why not take him along instead?”</p><p>Eden sighs, and doesn’t answer.</p><p>—</p><p>One day when he’s alone with Luizy, he can’t contain the curiosity he feels.<br/>
“Is it true?” he asks suddenly, as they’re both sitting on the mat’s stairs to peel potatoes.</p><p>“What is?” Luizy asks nonchalantly. He’s seventeen now, and he’s tall. Hongjoong is a bit taller, too, but not as much as him. Luizy is tall, and handsome, and strong, and his smile still makes his eyes turn into pretty crescents like the first day they met.</p><p>Hongjoong feels a bit less confident about it now that he has to clarify, the topic being pretty much taboo on the ship since when he first stepped on it. But he’s curious, and if there’s one thing he’s not lacking in, it’s dedication.</p><p>“That you were with Zico the day he died.” he asks, gathering the little courage he has.<br/>
Luizy stops peeling the potato he’s holding.</p><p>“I was.” he says, face unreadable. Hongjoong feels a chill down his spine, although he doesn’t know why.<br/>
“So what?” Luizy asks, voice too neutral.</p><p>Hongjoong stares down at his own vegetable, unable to look at Luizy’s eyes as he asks.<br/>
“I was just wondering,”  he begins nervously, “If you remember how he died.”</p><p>Luizy stands up abruptly, a sour look on his face.<br/>
“I don’t.” He says harshly.</p><p>“Okay.”</p><p>“Don’t ask me about him.” the older boy adds, something like fury in his eyes. There’s something else, too, almost like fear, but Hongjoong isn’t brave enough to try to understand it.</p><p>“Okay. I’m sorry.”</p><p>Luizy doesn’t offer reassuring words before he leaves, and spends the rest of the week avoiding him.</p><p>—</p><p>When Hongjoong is seventeen, he has written a lot of stories. Easily enough to fill several books, he thinks, but doesn’t really consider.<br/>
He’s written stories about the sea, about the ground, about knights and angels and monsters from the deep oceans.<br/>
But no matter how many stories he writes, and how many books he reads, his mind always wanders back to the star people.<br/>
Why that is, he doesn’t know. He isn’t even sure he truly believes in their existence; but the thought keeps him awake at night, dreaming of hands burning like the touch of the sun, smiles that can fill up the darkness of the night better than even the full moon does.</p><p>“You’re obsessed,” Luizy points out very fairly after reading yet another poem about the people of the stars, “You should walk out the ship and see some real women for a change.”</p><p>Hongjoong scoffs, his cheeks burning when he rips the paper away from his brother’s hand.<br/>
“I’m not interested, thanks.”</p><p>Luizy rolls his eyes playfully. “Or so you say. I know you’re just being shy.” He grins then, “Unless you like men more? I can work around that, you know, my friend-”</p><p>“Luizy!” He whines, head in his hands. “Cut it out already, I’m fine!”</p><p>The older boy shrugs, jumping back on his feet easily.<br/>
“You’re such a kid, Hongjoong.”</p><p>“I’m not a kid,” he mumbles, “I’m only two years younger than you are.” </p><p>Luizy pats his head in a faux display of affection.<br/>
“Right, right. But you sure do act like one. Sometimes I wonder what you’d do without me.”</p><p>Then he adds, almost in a whisper, as if he didn’t want Hongjoong to hear it.</p><p>“I really do, brother.”</p><p> </p><p>—</p><p>When Hongjoong turns eighteen, Luizy and Maddox take him drinking. It’s a beautiful night outside, the moon round and bright in the sky and clear to see from everywhere on the port.<br/>
It’s been a long time since Hongjoong has stopped looking at the moon, but he wants to see it as a good omen for his eighteenth birthday. </p><p>“Don’t make Hongjoong drink so much,” Maddox advices, voice quiet and concerned. He’s only one year older than Luizy and equally good at everything, but seems much more adult-like than him, always so reasonable and gentle. He joined the crew just a year ago, and Hongjoong thinks he reminds him of Eden. “You know he can’t hold alcohol well.”</p><p>“Who cares?” Luizy retorts as he fills Hongjoong’s pint up again. “It’s his birthday! The whole crew is drinking too, don’t leave him out of the fun.”</p><p>Maddox sighs in acceptance, murmuring a small Whatever, I’d have warned you, and going back to the conversation he was having with a member of the crew.<br/>
Luizy smiles happily, and gestures at Hongjoong to drink again.</p><p>“You’re an adult now, little brother.” He says, holding his own pint up in a cheer.  “Is there anything you want to do tonight?” </p><p>Hongjoong stares at him suspiciously before taking a chunk of his drink. “You’re not thinking of anything in particular, are you?”</p><p>Luizy laughs, “Not really,” he denies, “Though I do have a few friends in this town who’d be pleasured to meet you, if you get what I mean-” he adds with a playful wink, to which Hongjoong groans in annoyance and jab at his elbow.</p><p>“I’m joking, I’m joking! Geez - you really are stuck up.” the man whines. “But, seriously. If you have something you’ve been wanting to ask, tonight is the night.” he affirms.</p><p>Hongjoong frowns. It’s not that there aren’t things he wants - there is a lot he yearns for, but none of it is anything Luizy could offer to him.</p><p>If you could promise to stay by my side from now on - to never abandon me like my sister did, it would be way more than enough.</p><p>He thinks, but he doesn’t ask. Something tells him that is the one thing that would be too much to ask for, even tonight.</p><p>“How about this then,” he begins, trying to read Luizy’s unreadable eyes, “You tell me your real name.”</p><p>The man stares a bit with his mouth half open, visibly not expecting the request. Hongjoong fears for a moment that he went off-limits, but his brother ends up laughing it off easily.</p><p>“Alright. Sure.” Luizy smiles, bringing his pint to his lips.</p><p>“Really?” Hongjoong asks, incredulous. </p><p>“Yeah. I’ll tell you at the end of the night, so try not to pass out too quickly.”</p><p>Hongjoong nods, unsure if the bubbling feeling in his chest comes from the alcohol of the excitement.</p><p>—</p><p>He wakes up in the middle of the night, a painful headache beating down his brain in the silence of the empty bar. The first thing he finds surprising is his presence in this place, considering his brother would usually carry him back to the ship when he’d pass out from drinking too much.<br/>
The second thing that hits him, is that the bar is empty.<br/>
The hangover makes him feel disoriented and cold, and he calls out for his friends’ names only to be met with a daunting silence.<br/>
He frowns, wondering if he hasn’t fallen victim to one of Luizy’s bad pranks, arranged specially for his birthday.<br/>
“You guys, it’s not funny.” He groans, making his way to the door, “I swear to god, if this is a joke-”</p><p>Hongjoong smells the blood first.</p><p>The port is littered with bodies, laying around and clutching at their chests, their ripped skins and open wounds which glow under the moon’s halo. Some are still whimpering, quietly moaning in pain while others are already frozen on the cold stones of the docks, life having left them a long time ago already.<br/>
His shaking eyes stop on a face.<br/>
Those aren’t just bodies - those are Hongjoong’s crew, Hongjoong’s friends, Hongjoong’s - Hongjoong’s family.</p><p>The first, immediate, and most natural reaction of his body is to throw up.</p><p>“Everyone…” He whimpers and he starts walking towards his ship, bile burning his throat as he lays terrified eyes on the men dying at his feet. “What happened? How could it?” He asks, his voice weaker than it’s ever been. He doesn’t have the strength, nor the courage of raising it, only a high-pitched sound left when he finds Maddox near the boarding plank.<br/>
The young man is still breathing, thankfully, but he’s clutching his sides with a pained expression.<br/>
He barely sees Hongjoong walking towards him, and his face contorts between fear and relief and he hears his voice.</p><p>“Maddox! Oh, Maddox - what happened?” Hongjoong asks as he struggles to rip a part of his shirt with trembling hands to press it on the men’s wound.</p><p>The man closes his eyes in pain, catching one of Hongjoong’s hands in his own.<br/>
“You - you need to go, Hongjoong. Please - leave this place now. I’m so glad you’re fine. You’re too young to die, Hongjoong.” He says, his voice so weak it breaks Hongjoong’s heart.</p><p>“Oh, but Maddox, you are young too!” Hongjoong protests, eyes filling up with tears, “I can’t leave, I can’t leave you guys!” He affirms, hands pressing on the wound. “What happened? Was it the army? Did they catch you unprepared?”</p><p>Maddox shakes his head, pushing his hands away with more force than what he should have left. “I’ll be fine, Hongjoong, you need to go.” Then he add, fear in his voice. “It wasn’t the army, Hongjoong, it was - it was Luizy.”</p><p>Hongjoong stops.</p><p>“Luizy? Luizy did this?” He repeats, refusing to process the meaning of the words he’d just heard.</p><p>“Yes, Hongjoong - he’s still here, he went to find Eden on the ship. I tried to stop him, I really did.” Maddox pleads, eyes filled with tears like Hongjoong’s. “I couldn’t - I really couldn’t.” He tries to hold on Hongjoong’s hand, but the boy rips it away harshly, anger burning in his eyes suddenly.</p><p>“That’s not possible.” Hongjoong affirms, voice louder now. “That’s not possible!” He yells, standing up despite Maddox’s attempts at holding him back.</p><p>“You can’t fight him,” the man begs, though too injured to do anything about it, “You’ll die, Hongjoong.”</p><p>“I won’t die!” Hongjoong says, angry tears rushing down his face, “Luizy would never hurt me!” Then he adds, loud and clear but more for himself than for Maddox, “We are family. He’d never hurt me.”</p><p>Hongjoong runs towards the ship, refusing to hear anything more from this liar. Luizy would never do such a thing. Fun-loving, kind, caring Luizy, the one who’d always encourage him when he failed, who’d carry him through the town when he felt sick, who’d tell him amusing stories about the times he failed to pick up girls at the port, this Luizy could never do such a thing. He was his family, the one he trusted among all in the world.<br/>
The one he loved, the same way he loved his sister, the same way Eden loved them both.</p><p>When he reaches the deck of the ship, Eden is dead.</p><p>He falls on his knees in front of the body of the man who taught him everything he knows, blood soaking through the fabric of his pants, and looks up at Luizy.</p><p>“I was hoping you’d sleep for a little longer.” The man, his brother, states quietly. He’s not smiling and his face is as unreadable as it’s always been.</p><p>“Why,” Hongjoong manages to choke out, tears already drained out of his body, “Why would you do such a thing?”</p><p>“Because I had to.” He explains. “I won’t ask you to forgive me.”</p><p>“Then why didn’t you kill me too?” Hongjoong asks, anger now filling him up again as he watches Eden’s face losing its colors. The man laying in front of him looks peaceful, strangely enough. His face only betrays acceptance, and some sadness, as if the fate he had been faced with was something he had expected all along. This stirs something within Hongjoong that he’s never felt before - something stronger than anger, than rage even.</p><p>“I think you already know why.” Luizy says, now with some sadness in his voice.</p><p>“You should have killed me too.” He grits between his teeth, reaching to take Eden’s fallen sword between his trembling hands. “You should have killed me.”</p><p>“I don’t want to hurt you, Hongjoong.” Luizy says, not even moving from his spot. “You know you’ve never been good with a sword.”</p><p>Hongjoong knows. He knows, and he remembers watching Luizy fence, and he remembers losing against him more times than he can count, and he remembers the bodies laying on the dock of the port emptying themselves of their blood as his brother stands with barely a scratch in front of him. He knows, and still.<br/>
Hongjoong feels the call for revenge.</p><p>Without a second thought, he rushes towards his friend - brother, enemy,  whatever it might be now, hoping to deliver only just a blow, anything to make it count. Anything that could prove the world that he tried, he wanted so desperately to hurt the one who caused his misery.</p><p>It was pointless, obviously, and he ends up falling right back on the planks of the ships, sword flying high away from him with a graceful move of Luizy’s body.</p><p>“I told you,” Luizy says, walking towards him. “I told you not to become a pirate, Hongjoong.”</p><p>“Why,” Hongjoong cries a little, even though he believed he didn’t have it in him anymore, “Why do you care so much, if you were meant to do this!” He bangs his fist on the plank, frustration mixing with anger and sadness and the deep cut of betrayal within his chest. “You should have just - killed us all from the start!”</p><p>Luizy smiles, bittersweet, and in a vague moment of confusion Hongjoong is reminded of his sister.<br/>
“The only thing I ask of you,” he says, turning his sword around his hand so the golden handle is in the front, “Is that you never take the sea again.”</p><p>Hongjoong refuses to answer.</p><p>“You’re a kind child, Hongjoong. I wish that you never become a cruel person.” He says, raising the handle of his sword above Hongjoong’s head.</p><p>“You haven’t told me your name.” </p><p>Luizy pauses, staring at Hongjoong who holds his stare, defiant within the tears.</p><p>“Sure,” He eventually smiles. His trademark smile, the one he flashed on that day he introduced himself.</p><p>“It’s Seungyoun.”</p><p> </p><p>—</p><p>When he wakes up the following morning, Hongjoong has nothing but his name and a headache to call his own.</p><p>No sister, no brother, no mentor nor even a ship left for him, all gone or drowned deep down where he can’t follow.</p><p>And, he decides resolutely, no more kindness to spare for a world which offers none to him.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>So this is the backstory of Hongjoong's story from this AU which I drew about on twitter: https://twitter.com/i/events/1336763187891408897?s=20. I'm more of drawer than a writer but I was invested and I wanted to try writing it down to let people know what happens in his story. Also I don't know if I'll write the rest of his story which focuses on his relationship with Seonghwa and Ateez, but a friend of mine said they were interested in writing for it so who knows what might be in the future haha.<br/></p></blockquote></div></div>
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